Dear readers. How are you? This is the week-day, not the week-end anymore. I’m writing this post as a real-life issue, not a creative piece of writing, and I thought it would be good to share it with you too.
1. First, let us talk about the will of God. What is the will of God in general? To me, it is what God wants. It is what He wants me to be, not DO. He wants me to be who he wants me to be. In other words, he has a purpose for my life. He has designed my physical body for that perfect, eternal will. He has a will for me and the creation at large.
- DO you believe it? I mean, do you know you are here on earth for a reason?
- Have you ever wanted to know what on earth are you here for?
Second, how do I know if I’m living in God’s will or not?
This to me is a very important question to ask. I ask myself the same question almost every week if not everyday. I even asked God in 1997. He is still answering this important question on my day-to-day life. God is teaching me more about Himself and his will everyday. Read more on Journeying with God Part I.
- Are you asking the same question?
Well, if yes, then I have something for you from experience.
Let me share with you my story. I was born in 1983. This was when the longest African Civil War started. This was the second Sundanese war between Juba and Khartoum/Kieertuom.
I was then born again in 1997 when I was just a young man. Due to that new birth into the family of the Triune God, my world view changed. Read more about this in Journeying with God Part II.
As a born again child of God, I always want to do God’s will. I want to speak in the way God wants. I want to live in the way that God approves. I grew up as a young man that fears God. My age-mates named me, “Jesus’ Brother“. Some thought I will not even have a girlfriend for life. I even escaped a temptation just like that of Joseph in the Bible (Genesis 39).
But, I was caught by a lady I was not running after! This is the heart of this post.
My current wife was the one who caught me. My dear friend Art Zimmer, quoting one of his best lecturers by then said, “If you run after many ladies, you will end up being caught by one“. This happened to me. We ended up in the marriage bed, something I have been preaching against for years since 1998.
To make things worse, she was not a girl! She was married illegally to one guy by the name, Juma. I do not know her husband until he passed on in 2011. Her first husband was a drunkard! She has to run away from him for her dear life. You know what I mean? Maybe not. Her husband had no financial support to the family. They had a little boy, Chol.
We were then caught red-handed! Because of shame, I gave in and accepted Eliza as a wife. But, after a year together as husband and wife with no wedding, I was in trouble. She was chewing tobacco stuff so badly! I mean, she used to be chewing tobacco many times a day. She could not listen to me anyway no matter how I tried to help her get rid of this habit.
I then tried my best to help Eliza come out of this life. Sometimes I doubt if this is really God’s will for me to marry in this way. Even though this is the common way of getting married in my community nowadays, I feel bad about it. I cannot justify our marriage in anyway. Check Modern Marriage and God.
Sometimes I become very annoyed and wanted to beat up my wife. But, God says this is not the solution.
At last, Eliza welcomed Christ in her heart in July, 2014! (Revelations 3:20). She began to change. A month later, she stopped the chewing of tobacco!
Yet, tobacco was not the only trouble in our family. There are other roles I expected to be for my wife. I wish she can do the A, B, C, D. All these expectations are from my culture. My relatives do not want me to get married to Eliza. Her relatives do the same.
Every time, my friends suggest I should marry another wife! This is because of other issues in my wife’s life.
Now, the situation is clear. I married outside God’s will. And sin must be punished by the holy God.
- But, what is God’s will for me here?
It is not a divorce. It is not re-marriage. It is not for me to stay in pain and regret every day, week, month, or year. God intended to make my life to be spent in learning about him and his will. The nature of God is important to live in such a situation with joy and happiness as God intended. You may be the same like me.
God’s will for you and me, my reader, is that, we should learn to live like Jesus did (1 John 2:6). My job on earth is to live as God wants, not to judge others! I can do nothing to change other people, including my wife.
But, if Christ lives in me, he will make my day brighter. I have a lot to learn yet. My wife is the best tool in God’s hands to teach me to live like Jesus for the rest of my life.
Please pray that I do not give in to my own will, neither the will of my relatives, nor that of Satan – divorce or re-marriage.
May God bless you all.